


i will save this empty space

by EmotionalSupportPuma



Category: Borderlands (Video Games)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Ghosts, Angst, F/F, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Its the Gaige Can See Ghosts AU nobody asked for, and also maybe some maya/lilith if you really squint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-19
Updated: 2020-04-19
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:26:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23741521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmotionalSupportPuma/pseuds/EmotionalSupportPuma
Summary: Gaige wakes up to find that the Crimson Raiders lost a lot with their attack on the bunker.
Relationships: Angel/Gaige (Borderlands)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 23





	i will save this empty space

**Author's Note:**

> title is a lyric from ghost of you by good charlotte, which i highly recommend giving a listen as it's what inspired this fic

The fact that she was knocked unconscious just before the battle for the bunker concluded was really a blessing in disguise.

You see, Gaige had a little something more than just her uncanny knack for bot-building that made her special. She wasn't sure if it was her eyes, her mind or who knows what else that caused it. But for as long as she could remember Gaige had been able to see the dead. Not in a "everyone is horrifyingly disturbing" sixth sense kinda way. Not a Casper the friendly ghost kinda way either. 

It was easy to tell when she saw one, although that was a skill that she honed over time. She could just get a feeling when one showed up near her. They showed up more frequently, more solidly, if Gaige knew them beforehand. And their attack on the bunker had disastrous results. The instant her eyes peeled open again, despite the steady throbbing that webbed from a point on the back of her head, she knew that someone had died there. 

Because she could feel them nearby. 

Gaige rolled over and squeezed her eyelids shut once more. The ache in her head, throughout her body and every fresh wound, that was what she focused on. She didn't want to see who they'd lost. Shooting down random bandits? That was something she could handle. Most of the time they were bad people regardless, and their spirits didn't hang around for very long. They wouldn't know that Gaige could see them, far more concerned with visiting loved ones for a final time before they disappeared for good. 

It wasn't until voices danced just outside of the room her cot was in that she found the mettle to roll back. The loud, clear voice of Axton was easily recognizable, as was Maya's softer response. That was two of her team accounted for. Heavy stomping and the occasional shout revealed that Krieg was still among them as well. Just two left. Peeling her eyes open, Gaige easily spotted Zer0 and Salvador on the far side of the room. But if all of her team were still alive who had…?

Her gaze settled on the one body that nobody else in the room acknowledged and her heart sank into her stomach.  _ Roland _ . Grief threatened to send tears spilling down her cheeks before Gaige could even register them. They'd never been particularly close, but it was hard  _ not _ to get attached to their commander. Roland was a good guy, one of the only genuinely good people on this hellhole of a planet. Or at least he had been. 

She'd liked him and tried specifically not to get close because she already had a father. Now they never would be, the Crimson Raiders had lost their leader and the team dad all at once. Gaige hated the soul-wrenching sadness that twisted in her heart. She didn't want the others to see her grieve, didn't want another reason for them to see just how young she truly was compared to them. Loud, happy, destructive Gaige was all she wanted them to know. And she certainly didn't want them to know that she could still see Roland's spirit hovering around them.

_ When will he move on? _ A tiny voice wondered in the back of her head. Gaige carefully steadied her breathing, so that she could push back the tears for just a little longer. If she had to hazard a guess, she'd assume Roland's spirit would be here until someone finally put a bullet in Jack's skull. She could make it until then, hopefully. 

She couldn't grieve with the others right now, not when she could look up and see Roland standing beside them. She couldn't grieve with the others ever, not when she was desperate to prove that she was just as worthy to be there as the rest of them, despite having turned eighteen only a handful of weeks earlier. What Gaige needed was someone who was young enough to understand, was troubled enough to understand, was  _ kind _ enough to understand. She needed an Angel. Or rather, she needed  _ Angel _ . 

So, she slipped from the cot as quietly as she could manage while dizziness sloshed her brains about. Just what had knocked her out continued to elude her conscious thought. Gaige wasn't a stranger to taking knocks to the head, especially now that she was a Vault Hunter, but in general it was always good to know what happened to one's body in a fight. Made it simpler to pick out if something was going wrong with the healing process. But for now her mind was foggy and that was a known side effect of concussions. She'd ask the others for details once she was done talking with Angel.

The streets of Sanctuary were strangely silent. As if the entire hulking mass of city-in-the-sky had gone into mourning. It was a ridiculous thought, but somehow it left her feeling just the tiniest bit lighter. Gaige made her way through winding back alleys until she stood at the very edge of the pavement. Pandora swirled below, a dreadful end to a dizzying drop. It had been ages since Gaige feared sitting on the edge of it and dangling her legs over the side. This time she hesitated for just a moment, long enough to remember why she was out here in the first place and realize that death wasn't as far away as it seemed, before sitting down. 

"Angel?" She called out softly, enough to be heard, but not so much that her voice carried.

Back when the two of them had first started having these talks, bonding without the other Vault Hunters there to tease and interrupt, Gaige had asked about just how she knew they were calling for her. Angel had danced around the answer then, saying simply that she got a feeling whenever someone tried to talk to her. Now she knew that it was because Jack had locked her in a bunker. Angel had nothing to do except watch people and wait for them to need her. 

Somewhere in the back of her mind a memory prodded. A feeling followed it, apprehension that bubbled with something darker. Gaige tried to chase the thought down, unsure of its origin, but found her brain grew more foggy the more she tried to figure out what it was. Before she could think about it too much an image flickered to the forefront. She grinned at this mental image of Angel, as she always did when they spoke.

"I'm here." The words sounded in her ears, while the image remained smiling.

Gaige felt her confidence waver as she remembered  _ why _ she needed someone to talk to right now, "Hey."

"I'm sorry things turned out this way."

"It's...it'll be alright. Just hard to imagine the Raiders without Roland." 

"It's okay to be sad, but stay strong. You'll get Lilith back and finish this. I know you will."

Her heart stuttered, "G-get Lilith back? What happened to her?"

"She...my father took her. The others didn't tell you?"

"I have no idea what happened after I got knocked out." Gaige admitted quietly, like she was confessing a wrongdoing, "Didn't have the heart to ask anyone before I snuck off."

"Gaige…" Angel's image shifted in her mind, looking sadder than she'd ever seen before.

"I know, I know. I'll talk to them soon...I just didn't want anyone else to see me cry."

"Gaige." The word had a hard edge to it this time.

Again that clinging apprehension prodded at her mind. Gaige found herself reluctant to listen to it, shaking her head to try and clear it. The mental image of Angel didn't hang on the backs of her eyelids when she closed them, unlike it usually did. For a moment she worried that Angel had decided not to talk to her anymore. But when she opened her eyes, there she was. Except, Gaige realized as her stomach dropped uncomfortably, unlike the many other times they spoke she could see all of her friend standing there, not just her face. 

"I'm sorry." Angel said again.

"N-no." Her voice faltered and choked in her throat, "no, we lost  _ Roland _ to save you."

"In a way, you did save me."

Gaige leapt to her feet suddenly, "No! I'm...this isn't real. I'm still asleep, I have to be." 

"You know the truth." 

"Angel…"

Her knees wobbled, threatening to give out, and she moved away from the ledge. Pain throbbed in her chest as real as any of the wounds she'd received in the fight. The goal had been to weaken Jack, but all they'd succeeded in doing was get two people dead and Lilith captured. Gaige couldn't fight the tears any longer and they ripped free from her chest with a choked sob. They'd planned this attack for days, she'd been looking forward to the day that Angel and her would meet in person. They had both looked forward to it.

The droplets made for an ugly pattern against the dusty ground of Sanctuary. Her vision twisted and blurred with each one of them that fell. She wasn't sure if Angel's spirit was still there, or if she was giving Gaige space to process this unfortunate ending. Looking up to check was more than she could bear at the moment. Really, they'd prepared for an outcome where Angel didn't survive the rescue, but she refused to think about it much. They were all so capable, so strong. They were supposed to win. 

Maybe it would have been easier to stomach if Gaige wasn't like...this. Other people had little concept of what was beyond death, or they had their own ideas to believe in. But she knew exactly where Angel and Roland were right now. Her friends and the rest of the Crimson Raiders were grieving, preparing to move on and keep fighting. Gaige would have to  _ see _ them until they passed on. And she couldn't say just when that would be. 

There was a commotion behind her, the sound of a boot hitting metal and a string of curses to accompany it. She swallowed the next sob with a fractured whimper and struggled to wipe the wetness from her face in an inconspicuous manner. Gaige knew her friends too well to be surprised by their intrusion to this moment. In any other situation anger might have boiled over and caused her to spit angrily at them, how dare they show up to treat her like a child? How dare they shove themselves into where they weren't wanted? But the flame never caught wind, the anger had no teeth to bite with. Her friends rounded the corner and all Gaige could do was swallow another sob.

Axton appeared first, his own enthusiasm overlooking any attempt at discretion. Then Maya, eyebrows knitted in concern and steps just as cautious. Salvador came next, uncharacteristically quiet and respectful. Even Krieg barreled around the corner with less shouting than usual. Zer0 more or less materialized from thin air, but no accompanying emoji was flashed over their helmet. If Gaige hadn't wanted to be left alone it would have been touching. Hell, it was still a  _ little _ touching.

None of them seemed willing to be the first to break the silence. It was a daunting task, given the fact that Vault Hunters were more versed in destruction than they were in comforting. Gaige tried her best to curl her lip and force the anger to flow to her tongue rather than her heart. Everything that had happened was just  _ so _ unfair. Maya was the first one to open her mouth, but nothing came out and the sheer amount of sympathy on her face made Gaige feel sick. Instead, Axton plopped onto the ground beside her and threw his legs over the edge too.

"This is a nice spot." He said and bumped his shoulder against hers. 

"It's occupied."

Maya crouched at her other side, "You shouldn't be grieving alone."

Before she knew it, all six of them were sitting on the edge of Sanctuary. Gaige huffed in annoyance, but none of them seemed to hear or care. This was exactly the kind of response she'd been hoping to avoid. She wasn't so pathetic that she needed these five adults to take care of her while she grieved. It made the tears sting hotly in the corners of her eyes.

"I'm fine!" She snarled, "I don't  _ need _ you guys here."

Instead of the response expected, Axton slung his arm over her shoulder, "Well,  _ I'm  _ not okay. Gimme a shoulder to cry on here."

As if on cue, Gaige looked closer at his face and noticed the red-rimmed eyes. If she squinted at all of her friends she could notice the signs that they were having a rough time too. Even Zer0 had their shoulders hunched desolately, which was probably the closest to crying that they could get. It became harder and harder to fight off her own tears. 

"I'm scared we won't get Lilith back." Maya admitted with a soft sigh.

" _ It's hard to believe / That Roland is really gone / What will we do now?" _

Krieg let out a mournful bellow and bumped his head against Zer0's in solidarity. A quick movement from Salvador kept Krieg from toppling over the end of Sanctuary in his torment. The edges of her vision began to shimmer, not from tears this time, but a last parting image of Angel flickered in her mind. Gaige's throat tightened in a painful way until she thought she might choke herself with the sadness. Droplets worked their way free until they ran messy tracks down her cheeks. She could almost hear that familiar voice say,  _ it's okay, Gaige, you can lean on them. _

"Angel shouldn't have died." She sobbed, leaning her head against Axton, "None of this is fair."

If anyone else expressed their grief, she didn't hear them. The sound of her own sobs drowned out most everything else. What she was aware of was the solidarity of these people who risked their lives for her every day, who she risked her own life for in turn. The coming days weren't going to be easy for any of them. So, when the sky turned pale and then black as night fell, Gaige gathered herself together enough to breathe without more tears spilling free. And then she told them her secret. 

She didn't see Angel's spirit again.

**Author's Note:**

> Was sitting here one day and thought "hey wouldnt it fucking suck to be able to see ghosts in the borderlands universe?" so...angsty gaigel it was! I still feel like everyone is mildly out of character, but I mean, grief will do that to ya.
> 
> If you wanna see my writing before it gets posted here, or just my borderlands shitposts, my tumblr is tannithvibes!


End file.
